I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
