Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
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