She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
