First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
