you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
