if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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