Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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