my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
