Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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