she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
