I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
