Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think my nap took me to another dimension
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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