come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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