Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
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