so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
