I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
