I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
