I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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