It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
