On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize