I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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