My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
