i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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