I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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