? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
