if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Randomize
