i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
