my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She told me I should be a condom model.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
