god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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