I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
