True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
