Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
