I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
