I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize