I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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