What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
