just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
