But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
