You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize