Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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