you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
