What a fucking waste of an outfit
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
His nipple licking is glorious
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