If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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