Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize