oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
