wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
