I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
