The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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