Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
