No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
