So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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