some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
