hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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