I can text with my tongue
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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