Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You can't just leave with hair like that
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
