kristin has been a bad kristin
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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