i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
