So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
