you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
