dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
