I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize