She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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