I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
