I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
